The Grandmaster
I Never Became
A memoir about setting an ambitious goal young, falling short of it in public, and discovering what actually grows in the space where the goal used to be. Seven countries. Fifteen coaches. Three titles. One honest account of what ambition, failure, and rebuilding look like from the inside — and what they teach you about every other pursuit that follows.
What the book is really about
At twelve, I set a goal: become a Chess Grandmaster by sixteen. I trained across seven countries. I gained 184 rating points in a single tournament in Budapest. I also lost 82 points six weeks later in the same city. I worked with fifteen coaches. I played in closed FM and IM-level events before most people my age had sat in a serious tournament hall.
I am sixteen. The Grandmaster title did not come.
What came instead — the open water training, the Paralympic coaching work, the Borlaug scholarship, the fitness certifications, the transmedia portfolio, the medicine pathway — none of that was the plan. All of it grew from the same question: what do you do with yourself after failing publicly at the thing you wanted most?
This book is not a chess memoir. Chess is the vehicle. The subject is ambition itself — the kind that forms early, drives hard, and asks something difficult of a young person when it falls short. The three words I came out of it with — Calculate. Commit. Continue. — are the spine of the book, and the foundation of everything else on this site.
The story in Kerim’s own words
Three essays from inside the journey
These three pieces were published on Medium as the book took shape. They are the proof of concept — the story told in essay form, before the full manuscript exists.